Introduction
High standards are important. However, perfectionism can be toxic.
High standards can push kids to do well, stay organized, and bounce back when things get hard. Perfectionism, however, can hurt more than it helps.
Here’s how to tell the difference between hard work and perfectionism.
Adaptive Perfectionism
What Is Adaptive (Healthy) Perfectionism?
Adaptive perfectionism is when a child’s drive to do their best leads to good outcomes—and they feel good doing it. These behaviors are connected to doing well in school, feeling confident, and managing stress.
Here are some signs of healthy perfectionism:
- They are responsible and follow through on tasks
- They set goals and work toward them
- They like to stay organized
- They have high standards—but they don’t fall apart if they miss them
- They keep trying even when things are hard
Maladaptive Perfectionism
What Is Maladaptive (Unhealthy) Perfectionism?
Maladaptive perfectionism shows up when kids tie their self-worth to being perfect—and fear the fallout of making mistakes. These behaviors often lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Here are some signs of unhealthy perfectionism:
- They feel pressure to meet high expectations from parents, teachers, or others
- They constantly doubt themselves or feel like they’re not doing things right
- They obsess over being in control
- They can’t stop thinking about past mistakes
- They avoid tasks for fear of messing up
Perfectionism isn’t all bad...
Perfectionism isn’t all bad—but when it leads to fear, procrastination, or low self-esteem, it’s time to step in.
Help your child learn to value progress, not just perfection.
If you’re concerned that perfectionism may be making your child’s anxiety worse, give us a call or check out our services. Our team can help you figure out the right level of care and support. Feel free to call (844) 881-1846 or visit anxietyinstitute.com for referral questions.