Intro
How Teens and Young Adults Manifest Perfectionism
Understanding What’s Under the Surface
Perfectionism is more than just wanting to do well. For many adolescents and young adults, it’s a deep fear of making mistakes, not being “enough,” or falling short of high internal standards. While it may look like motivation or achievement on the outside, perfectionism often comes with anxiety, low self-worth, and avoidance behaviors that can interfere with daily functioning.
How To Spot Perfectionism
Here are some common ways perfectionism shows up in this age group:
Academic Overload
Many teens and young adults push themselves to the point of burnout. They may spend hours rewriting assignments, over-studying, or avoiding tasks they don’t feel they can do perfectly. Even high achievers may struggle with intense self-criticism if they don’t get top grades.
Avoidance and Procrastination
Perfectionistic individuals often delay starting projects because they fear they won’t meet their own high standards. This can lead to last-minute work, missed deadlines, or avoidance altogether—fueling anxiety and reinforcing the fear of failure.
People-Pleasing and Over-Control
Young people may try to “get it right” in relationships, too. They might hide emotions, avoid conflict, or say what they think others want to hear. This can lead to social anxiety and trouble developing authentic relationships.
Rigid Thinking
Perfectionism is often black-and-white: success or failure, right or wrong. Teens and young adults may struggle to see gray areas, leading to harsh self-judgment and difficulty adapting to challenges.
Low Self-Esteem Hidden by High Standards
Perfectionism can serve as a coping strategy for underlying self-doubt. Teens might believe their worth is tied to achievement, appearance, or behavior. Even when praised, they often feel “not good enough.”
What Clinicians Can Do
Start by validating the stress perfectionism creates.
Help teens recognize the difference between healthy striving and self-critical thinking. Cognitive restructuring, exposure response prevention, and self-compassion work can be effective. Encourage small steps toward flexible thinking and allow space for mistakes as part of growth.
Perfectionism is common—and treatable. By identifying its signs early, clinicians can help young clients build healthier ways to approach success, relationships, and self-worth.